dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
