Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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