i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
