dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
