hotel room ftw
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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