You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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