Where did you get a picture of my penis
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
