I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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