She is in my trunk
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
