Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
