glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
did i just pee glitter
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
