Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
