just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
