It's Friday. Sex?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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