U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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