That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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