Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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