i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
