8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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