Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
