Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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