spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
