pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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