It's Friday. Sex?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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