the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize