he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
