Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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