You really coming over, don't trick.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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