my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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