Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
