Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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