fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
