I'm jealous of your bromance
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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