Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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