Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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