i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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