I just threw up on my dentist
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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