Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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