I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
