I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
