On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
