You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
