How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
