wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
