I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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