If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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