just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do vagina's smell?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
