I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
