would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
