Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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