i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
