Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
