Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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