So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
