i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
