Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
