We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
