is your mom at the bar?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
