I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
