This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
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