would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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