i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
