I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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