they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
