Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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