If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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