i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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