operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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