Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
