I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
